MUDGRIPS (adult only)
ADULTS ONLY! #1: OK, everyone knows that Botox (from botulism; the most toxic biological agent known to us (until Monsanto gets into full swing)) makes lips swell into those delightful pouty lips that men equate with ...eh?... I donno ... secondary sexual characteristics? the red rump of baboons? swollen secret pink skin? So I thought, why not enhance my own swollen secret self (penis). Looking into it...
ADULTS ONLY! #2: Forget that!
ADULTS ONLY! #3 1): (the foregoing, and the hinter-going, is a result of visiting "The Chesty-Fest" at Sporty's ... quite by chance, I assure you).
Looking into that stuff they use for breast implants, I am researching Google Images...
Huh. ...kind'a disappointing really: instead of having beautifully sculptured (the word 'sculptured' is very appropriate here) breasts, they were just bigger and rounder. 'Beachball boobs' is the pat term. One might even think 'over-inflated'. I'm just a regular guy. I like boobs of every description. I like everything from fried eggs (or even raw eggs if the eggs are "scratch" eggs so the yolk doesn't just break) to melons, even kind'a large melons... As long as the woman who is sporting them likes them, I like them. And lots of women (it appears) don't like their breasts when those same breasts are beautiful! Sometimes people are just crazy!!! Why mess around with botox on lips, f'instance, when a smile is all a guy really needs?
So many, so many REALLY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS!
ADULTS ONLY #3 2): There are some women with huge breasts. I must admit that sometimes huge breasts can cause a number of serious/bothersome problems. Like back trouble. No kidding.
Whereas young women can flout that 'gift' (at that age) with 'whelming' success, it, even at that age, can lead to problems. Those huge breasts make a girl look promiscuous. Even if she ain't. I know girls with huge tits that have been raped more than once by men with testosterone poisoning and the concomitant paralysis of the brain. That's not fair.
When the woman grows to middle-age the weight of the breasts causes stress on the back. And, alas, often the large breasts can stimulate the body into accumulating lots of extra resource (fat).
...SO, despite the fact I don't like messing around with Mother (appropriate term) Nature, a breast reduction can really improve the life of some women.
SERIOUS DRAWBACK to breast reduction: Although a breast reduction can keep a woman slim, result in beautifully sculptured breasts, every instance I have ever seen or heard of (or otherwise experienced) also resulted in the cutting of that WONDERFUL NERVE that runs from the nipples into the Zone of Swollen Secret Pink Skin ... and that loss ... well, it's a bit tragic ...
ADULTS ONLY #4: So I wrinkle my brow and think, "What about penis sculpture? After all, I'm 71 years old and maybe a change would do me good."
HINT: I have no interest at all in mutilation art; like splitting my penis lengthwise, despite assurances that both, ah, 'halves' still function. I mean, like, what? do I want to 'tweezer-enable' my penis? I think not.
Although if I were to have some silicone injected just below the skin of my penis I could build in some ribs and ridges that might interest my wife. Or, going a bit extreme, I could have 'tread' sculpture done. 'Mudgrips' might be a hit.
But what if I 'get stuck' and cannot involuntarily withdraw? Or withdraw to suit the request of my beloved?
No problem. I am sure panic will take care of that possibility.
Or we can bag-race-walk out into the driveway and ask a passerby to drench us with a bucket of ice-cold water.
ADULTS ONLY #5: Please forgive me for the foregoing. I don't know what overcame me. And don't expect to ever see much more of this from me.
ADULTS ONLY! #2: Forget that!
ADULTS ONLY! #3 1): (the foregoing, and the hinter-going, is a result of visiting "The Chesty-Fest" at Sporty's ... quite by chance, I assure you).
Looking into that stuff they use for breast implants, I am researching Google Images...
Huh. ...kind'a disappointing really: instead of having beautifully sculptured (the word 'sculptured' is very appropriate here) breasts, they were just bigger and rounder. 'Beachball boobs' is the pat term. One might even think 'over-inflated'. I'm just a regular guy. I like boobs of every description. I like everything from fried eggs (or even raw eggs if the eggs are "scratch" eggs so the yolk doesn't just break) to melons, even kind'a large melons... As long as the woman who is sporting them likes them, I like them. And lots of women (it appears) don't like their breasts when those same breasts are beautiful! Sometimes people are just crazy!!! Why mess around with botox on lips, f'instance, when a smile is all a guy really needs?
So many, so many REALLY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS!
ADULTS ONLY #3 2): There are some women with huge breasts. I must admit that sometimes huge breasts can cause a number of serious/bothersome problems. Like back trouble. No kidding.
Whereas young women can flout that 'gift' (at that age) with 'whelming' success, it, even at that age, can lead to problems. Those huge breasts make a girl look promiscuous. Even if she ain't. I know girls with huge tits that have been raped more than once by men with testosterone poisoning and the concomitant paralysis of the brain. That's not fair.
When the woman grows to middle-age the weight of the breasts causes stress on the back. And, alas, often the large breasts can stimulate the body into accumulating lots of extra resource (fat).
...SO, despite the fact I don't like messing around with Mother (appropriate term) Nature, a breast reduction can really improve the life of some women.
SERIOUS DRAWBACK to breast reduction: Although a breast reduction can keep a woman slim, result in beautifully sculptured breasts, every instance I have ever seen or heard of (or otherwise experienced) also resulted in the cutting of that WONDERFUL NERVE that runs from the nipples into the Zone of Swollen Secret Pink Skin ... and that loss ... well, it's a bit tragic ...
ADULTS ONLY #4: So I wrinkle my brow and think, "What about penis sculpture? After all, I'm 71 years old and maybe a change would do me good."
HINT: I have no interest at all in mutilation art; like splitting my penis lengthwise, despite assurances that both, ah, 'halves' still function. I mean, like, what? do I want to 'tweezer-enable' my penis? I think not.
Although if I were to have some silicone injected just below the skin of my penis I could build in some ribs and ridges that might interest my wife. Or, going a bit extreme, I could have 'tread' sculpture done. 'Mudgrips' might be a hit.
But what if I 'get stuck' and cannot involuntarily withdraw? Or withdraw to suit the request of my beloved?
No problem. I am sure panic will take care of that possibility.
Or we can bag-race-walk out into the driveway and ask a passerby to drench us with a bucket of ice-cold water.
ADULTS ONLY #5: Please forgive me for the foregoing. I don't know what overcame me. And don't expect to ever see much more of this from me.
posted by Thunderpen | 1:26 PM
2 Comments:
You don't know what overcame you? I think you hinted at it when you said you visited the "Chesty Fest" accidentally. Isn't it today? Doesn't that mean you were drinking whisky sours and being smacked in the face by John's boobies from 10-noon?
There's definately a great deal to learn about this topic. I like all of the points you have made.
My blog: Valerie Bertinelli Fakes
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