a longish story about A TINY MIRACLE

The morning started fine. My lady and I awoke together, slowly ... a long while later we got up, showered and got busy. We skipped breakfast and rushed into town because I had a dentist appointment at the same time she was to be at work.

I arrived at the dentist's office a bit early. I was established in a chair by a young and pretty woman who seemed to be genuine. We chatted. The dentist came in and said I needed two fillings and a crown. I asked about the cost of the crown...

"About a thousand dollars."
I bellowed, "Holy Shit!"
He said, "Sorry about the bad news."
I said, "Don't send me a sympathy card," and left.

That was before I checked the bill.
$78 for the few words with the highly exalted dentist.
$557 for the proposed two fillings.
$1000 for the crown.

Here's the point and this point:
DENTAL COSTS HAVE INCREASED BY 500% SINCE I WAS 21!
ACTUAL DENTAL TECHNOLOGY (proficiency and actual success of treatment and materials) HAS NOT INCREASED A WHIT!

So I drove 35 miles GLOWERING the entire way from Missoula to home. Slow steam. My eyes half-hooded. Thoughts dark and red. That's a long glower.

I noticed a rainbow that seemed anchored at our interstate turnoff. I thought, "That is unusual around here, to see a rainbow to the west. That means something nice later on." I kept thinking about it.

Driving down the muddy county county road I found myself behind a blue car that was going slower than I. I didn't lose my patience, but my glower continued unabated. I hope they turn off somewhere. They didn't. Not at Bible Lane. Not at the homes we passed. Not at Baron Lane. OMG! They are taking our road! I've got to follow these snails farther!

Then, OMG! They are turning into OUR driveway!

This did not please me. I just wanted to take a post-trauma nap. Instead it was these STRANGERS! People I did not want to deal with. And they were parked between me and the garage! Grrr...

Then I saw Crissy, the young woman from the Jehovah's Witnesses getting out of the car. I like her. I've known her since she was a teenager calling at our door. So I put on a happy face and we talked a bit and she gave me the two magazines I sometimes read -- although I do not subscribe -- and she climbed back in the blue car and they started to back out of the driveway.

I got back in my wife's PT Cruiser to put it in the garage and looked in the rear-view mirror. What I saw didn't make any sense.

When my wife -- whom I call 'Maria Andretti' after Mario -- backs out of the driveway she performs a maneuver I admire. She gooses the car at the pitch, then gives it a bit more, cutting a quarter-cookie so the car spins 90 degrees to point straight down the hill. She can do this even when the junction of driveway and Forest Circus road is NOT a hump of glare ice. And now I was watching a 'suit' do the same thing verrry slowly. I could see the guy's front wheels turning verrry slowly and the car spinning verrry slowly. How did he do that? I got out for a better look.

Oops. The guy had managed to get his front wheels over the bank looking down the hill's rough and rocky ride through the forest. Stuck.

I sauntered over for a talk and assay of the situation. Then I walked back to the house to change clothes, get shovel, get chains, get sand, get a cardboard to lay on on the wet, dirty rotting ice, and to see if the chains would fit on my newly running pickup.

We were just getting down to the problem when Suit (actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are not really 'suits'. They don't steal from the public, they don't exercise unearned and undue authority over us, they don't act like 'giraffes' (that is, long necks to help elevate themselves). They are just people dressed up to knock on doors) mentioned that he had called a friend. I was a little off-put by this, since I could handle the situation.

Then a neighbor, Kathy, drove down the hill and stopped to share some words with the Witnesses. I was delighted! Her 4WD would tug the blue car right out. But before I could get to her window, she drove away. I was disappointed in her behavior.

When Suit's friend arrived I saw it was Paul I., a man I've known for years. Paul also had a 4WD.

Paul's chain hooks were too small to latch onto the blue car's tow-hook, so I suggested we pass a loop of the chain through the tow-hook and pass the chain through its own loop. Suit had no idea what I was talking about, but 'Jeannie,' the "grandmother to the congregation," did. This old woman -- older even than me -- knelt low and fixed the chain. I was impressed.

Paul pulled the car right out. I waved as they drove away. Over the years, the Jehovah's Witnesses have sometimes synchronistically arrived when I was on the lip of the Sough of Despond.

As I gathered up my tools, Jim, the husband of Kathy, came down the hill. He said, "Kathy called. Said you might need some help."

"Problem solved. Hey, it was great that she called you and great that you came down to offer help."

He said, "Neighbors helping neighbors. Builds community."

He drove back up the hill, I replaced the tools, getting rid of the tow chain which had nearly frozen to my hand, and entered the house.

The glower was gone; replace by a glow.

BEWARE OF PARSELTONGUE

(This is for folks living in good ol' Montana)

If you kept up with Harry Potter, you know that Parseltongue is the language of serpents. It's a slithery, whispery sort of speech, subtle and insidious. I suppose you could call it Wormtongue.

The Monitor Lizard, related to the Great Worm, is adored by other monitor lizards for having a dirty mouth. All it takes is one bite on a water buffalo and the bite infects, the wounded critter seeks water and mud, weakens and perhaps even dies. The lizards come crawling to the feast. That's how they hunt.

The Parseltongue used by Wormtongue himself, reduced Théoden, King of Rohan, to a pus-crusty ol' dodderer.

And look what Parseltongue did for Eve, our Ur-mother.


Let Storytelling rest a moment: Serpents in the real world are OK out in the forests, fields and jungles; sometimes dangerous, but part of the web of life.

Serpents are NOT OK when they whisper into the ears of our legislators urgings to change the law of the land.

One provision of the carefully crafted Montana State Constitution guarantees a “clean and healthful environment.” The beneficiaries of a “clean and healthful environment" include everyone. ALL of us! ALL the time. A clean and healthful environment cleans itself, creates soil, generates oxygen and produces clues to The Mystery, an essential need of human beings for mental health.

Speaking Parseltongue, Don Allen, the executive director of the Western Environmental Trade Association, asked that two words be added so the provision would read, “clean, healthful, and economically productive environment."

Objecting, David Scrimm, State Bar Trustee Representative, stated, “The 'clean and healthy' provision has not crippled our economy.”

The expression “environmental trade” is snaky. What is being traded? The environment. For what? For money. The resource is gone, the environment is compromised, and where does the money go? Some goes to working folks — probably not money enough to buy a home. The CEO of the industry concerned will make, according to the present pattern, 300 times more than any worker. The real profit will go upwards towards Wall Street. No one will be liable for reclaiming the damaged environment. That's Montana history.

The first problem that occurs when economics trumps environment is that what belongs to all of us, is traded away for what belongs to only a few.

The constitution is better left as it is. If developers must pose their proposition definitively, if agreement and accountability is hammered out beforehand, if waste disposal plans are acceptable, if environmental impact studies are created, studied and approved, misunderstandings will be much less likely and work can begin with good conscience.

This is a much better approach than removing from the hands of Montana citizens the strong tools needed should it be necessary to deny or halt a development that discloses serious threat to a clean and healthy environment.

This is a much better approach than melting before the honeyed breath and sweet words of talented myth makers.